Alentalas (alentalas) wrote in 156questions,

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1. You are in your kitchen washing dishes and the bride suddenly explodes through the window, Hanzo sword in hand, ready to kill you. Assuming you are an assassin of D.V.A.S. skill level, what kitchen utensil do you grab to defend yourself. (And, Sorry; no knives. That's toooo easy.)

2. Describe your ideal Katana: Color, designs, special markings, metals, silk cords, etc.

3. You've just entered a crowded titty bar where four of the people who 'fucked you over' are currently sitting getting lapdances. What do you yell as you pump them full of lead?

4. Assuming you have the 70's hipster chique (chic?) of Kill Bill, what would your signature outfit be as a member of the D.V.A.S.?

5. If you were lawfully wedded and mutually amicable with one member of the D.V.A.S., whom would it be? Sorry ladies for the lack of choices.

6. Is Bill the fucking man, or is Bill the fucking MAN?

7. If you were an ancient martial arts guru ala Pai Mei, what would your greatest and most powerful technique be called? (Criteria: Must include grossly large numbers and a good deal of animals doing unnatural things, I.G. "The 7 clawed electric dragon fist punch!) (No, sorry, it can't just be called "Chidori" or even have a name so succinct and cool as the english translation. Anybody who is interested in the English translation just won't be dissapointed.)

8. Is Elle not the most hateful bitch in all the land, or fucking WHAT?

9. Name your three favorite dirty, anti-Bushido ways of using (or abusing) a katana in or out of combat.

10. If you had to destroy something expensive in a fight and use a peice of pieces of it (Ala Yuen Wo Ping) to fight with, what would it be? (I.G.: Budd's TV Antennae, Budd's floor lamp)

11. What is the coldest religious shit you can think of to say to a motherfucker before you kill him?

12. Is Bill the man, or is Bill the fucking MAN!?

11. Who's the man?

14. What (do you think) the hell did my weird dream involving Panda Babies, Terrance and his dumbass (fictional dream people of course) roomates, and stabbing a murderous old italian lady who turned into a beautiful woman who I proceeded to decapitate with the family katana 2 or three times, mean?

16. Did you notice how screwed up the numbering was on this quiz?

1. A whisk. Good for disarming the bitch.

2. Very Similar to O-Ren-Ishi-i's sword but solid white with two lines of silver running from end to end. No handgaurd, obviously. And a Silver lotus embossed on the side.

3. "DIE MUTHUHFUCKAHHHHZZZZ, DIEEEEE!!!" simple, yet effective and to the point.

4. I would wear HUGE white linen bellbottoms with hemp woven sandals, either topless with a big swirly henna tattoo on my chest, or wearing a loose, cotton India style batik button up shirt orrrr A tight graphic T shirt with Isaac Hayes, "I shot JR", or a big fox on it. And my long curly hair would be in a MASSIVELY big Ponytail. And I would wear a big Kung-Fu style belt around my waist into which I would slide my KATANAAAA

5.  O-Ren-Ishi-I. Lucy Liu, despite the invariable stupidity that seeps into her characters, is horribly HAWT and O-Ren is MY FAVORITE female member of the D.V.A.S. we'd be LIKE DEEES.*holds fingers* 

6. YES.

7. The 6.7 tailed demon tiger kick......OF DEATH

8. YES.

9.  a. Drawing it on people for shits and giggles.
     b. Using it to shave. JKJK. I would probably die.
     b. parrying an incoming cut with the cutting edge. (OROOO! CAUSES CHIPS AND SCRATCHES! PERMANENT DAMAGE!)
     c. Making improper cuts with it. (Samurai beleived katana were only correctly used if they made cuts to like...4 or 6 or so VERY specific places)

10. I would smash a grandfather clock and use the little brass thing that goes 'tick-tock' as a cutting weapon.

11. "Pray you're reincarnated at least as something vertabrate, you sick peice of shit."  orrrr "TASTE SAMSARA, BITCH!"

15. Yes. I made it.
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